Ups and Downs

I feel tied down. Restricted. Doubts fill everything i write about. I want to write about her, about the few times i've thought about her today and the good times we shared. I want to write about how much i'd miss her if she decides to never speak to me again. But i'm afraid u'd think i'm over dramatic and unsincere.

I feel tied up. Bounded. Lost my freedom of speech. Taken away from me. 'Then write it in your diary' he said. What's the point of u finding out how i feel after i've already died? Isn't that the only time diaries are read? When the author is dead and someone decides to make big bucks?

I feel like giving u a clearer close up picture of me. But i've always been too careful. Except for that one instance. Which unfortunately led to issue 2. And then i was so angry at the world.

I wanted to close down this blog. Sadness is all it's brought me in the past week.

But no, E has been reminding me of the amount of readers i have. I've worked so hard. I know i'm not popular. But i'm happy with the amount of readers i have. It's overwhelming. It's not easy to get somewhat loyal readers...

Thank u, u who told me over the phone, "but don't lose your Blogging style". It means so much to me.

Thank u, anonymous, who told me i had attitude. I don't know how long ago u wrote that, but i remember. I remember it and i'm going to link to your comment. Here.

I don't know who all of u are, but thank u for reading my shit. You are the reason i blog.


Note: I'm sure u'd never remember this. Nor will u tell any of your friends this. (Ahhgggg, here i go doubting what i write again). But, it is something i wanted u to know.