Sunday, October 16, 2005

Ups and Downs

I feel tied down. Restricted. Doubts fill everything i write about. I want to write about her, about the few times i've thought about her today and the good times we shared. I want to write about how much i'd miss her if she decides to never speak to me again. But i'm afraid u'd think i'm over dramatic and unsincere.

I feel tied up. Bounded. Lost my freedom of speech. Taken away from me. 'Then write it in your diary' he said. What's the point of u finding out how i feel after i've already died? Isn't that the only time diaries are read? When the author is dead and someone decides to make big bucks?

I feel like giving u a clearer close up picture of me. But i've always been too careful. Except for that one instance. Which unfortunately led to issue 2. And then i was so angry at the world.

I wanted to close down this blog. Sadness is all it's brought me in the past week.

But no, E has been reminding me of the amount of readers i have. I've worked so hard. I know i'm not popular. But i'm happy with the amount of readers i have. It's overwhelming. It's not easy to get somewhat loyal readers...

Thank u, u who told me over the phone, "but don't lose your Blogging style". It means so much to me.

Thank u, anonymous, who told me i had attitude. I don't know how long ago u wrote that, but i remember. I remember it and i'm going to link to your comment. Here.

I don't know who all of u are, but thank u for reading my shit. You are the reason i blog.

Note: I'm sure u'd never remember this. Nor will u tell any of your friends this. (Ahhgggg, here i go doubting what i write again). But, it is something i wanted u to know.


Joey said...

It really is ur choice, but I do hope u will continue to blog.
It will be a loss to ur readers if u decided to close it down. A loss to me, becos ur blog is one of the few I read daily.

U write pretty well, so y stop juz becos of that ONE sentence? U did mention u love to blog. Y stop becos of wat a few others think?

sue lin said...

Hey, Joey, yeah i love blogging. So much. Not very sure if it'd be a loss to my other readers, but it'll be a great lost to me lar, hehe. =P Thank u very much for ur support. =)

But this is just something i'm going through la... for a while i feel alright... and then all the emotions come crashing back... i guess it'll take some time before i can write without thinking of what others are thinking/will say again.

But in good time, i guess i'll be fine. Also stressed up over assignments and exams now.

Again, thank YOU so much.

MaS said...

you have been a bad girl sue .... u shudnt have come here n replied the comments ... u shud have done ur work so dat u would feel free and easy tomoro ....

but since its done .... its ok la ... now just do ur work ok ... due tomoro lor ....

sue lin said...

=( dun wanna do!!!

Jazzy*Pam said...

hey, i agree with joey. it's ur choice whether to continue blogging or not. but just wanna let u know that ur blog is really a form of entertainment for me. you know i'm on hols rite? i surf the net daily for long hours! imagine how bored i'd be if you didn't update ur blog almost daily! ;) really!

sue lin said...

Haha, Cheryl, u can really make me laugh! =)

Dun think i'd stop for good la. Just maybe for a while... or maybe not... haha, see how la.

Thanks! =)