To C and A

_______This part has nothing to do with the title of the post. ________

Happy there is a new couple around!!! =)

I mean... it's sad to hear my bestfriend is going through boyfriend-girlfriend problems. And the other close friend too, hope what i told him helps. Hope what i told them both helps!

But it just sucks to see so many couples breaking it off. It's like a trend! Since December, was it? So many couples breaking off.

Scares me. When E and i got together, many many couples appeared everywhere. It was like love is in the air. I was really worried when one of the oldest couples split up. If we got together when it was a trend to get together, would we break off when everyone is breaking off??

Doesn't look like we would (break up)... but would u people just stop breaking up left and right???! Hahahaha.

Think of how sad i would be before u break up la. Ahahahaha. I'm crapping. If it's best for u then break up la, dun worry about me k?

Anyway that's why i am really really damn happy 4 the new new couple. Another multi-racial around couple =) Makes me so happy! They give me hope. Unlikely she'd read this but i'd like to congratulate them here! =)

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Oh, and one last thing, whether they read it or i know i posted it. In a way, it is a message to the other multi-racial couple i was so happy for about one year ago... I really want to say it to them but i dun wanna seem stalker-ish and i dun wanna appear like i over-analyze things too much.

But let's face it that is what i have been doing and i desperately want to stop hoping they would forgive me, so.........

I know A blatantly avoids me (at least he still awdwardly waves hello and forces out a smile to me, though...). Looks like he would never forgive me. I must drill that into my head already!!!!

And C and i can never be as close as we used to be.

Anyway, although i really really wish and i did try my very very best, even though i know my best is shit, to mend things between us, it is clear you do not want the same thing.

It is over. I really wish things could become better but i can't go on hoping!!!!! I seriously can't. I have had it. It affects me badly! I started this stupid post as a happy post at 8.30pm and it is 12.30 and i haven't completed it!!! It has been 6months!!!

So, to make sure i stop hoping u would forgive me, i am going to make sure it is the end. By posting this I know i would lose the nice hies and byes. I would kill all possibility of us being close again.

Look at how i sound, did i seriously think we could be close again??? Why have i been kidding myself all this time???

Yes, for the last time i am wrong by calling C names on my blog!!!!! But you could have been the bigger person and forgive me! I apologised repeatedly, i came up to u and admitted my mistake, sorry i was a bit defensive but i meant it!!!! It really was inconsiderate of u two to to make so much noise when the room belongs to 11 people and not just you. And if u didn't realize that after 6 bloody months, would u ever????

Hell i even thanked you for telling me my mistake bacause of this.

It doesn't matter if we would never double date again. After what i am doing in this post, it's all over, you definitely would never forgive me.

Besides you also lied to put emphasis on your point and yet you didn't want to mend things with me!!!?

I started this mess here in this blog, i'm ending it here in this blog.

Just know that i wish u both a lasting, loving relationship. Because it would really suck if u did this to me in her defence and then u guys don't last.

HAPPY EARLY ONE YEAR ANNIVERARY, CAMIRUL.