Monday, July 26, 2010

Last Time

Coincidental or fated, i came back to KL on the right date (19/7 Mon). Everything was the same.

Nothing was out of the norm, Kong Kong, my grandfather was his normal self, healthy and the typical Chinese grandparent: He'd always ask me to eat and drink tea

All of a sudden he was weak on Friday night and i woke up on Saturday morning when my mom told me he passed on. That night, i stayed up late to 'accompany my grandpa' by sitting near the coffin, burning 'hell money' till late.

I felt hungry and went to see if there was any food in the fridge. Its weird, we normally cover food with a plate but for some reason the plate fell off, making a bowl of noodles visible to me at one glance

Friday afternoon was like any other, i was online and my grandpa walked up the stairs (yeah, that healthy), he saw me and said that his lunch was too much, so he put aside some and told me to eat it. I looked up and said okay without giving it much thought

Little did i know that was the last time i'd have a doting grandpa. It took me ages to bring myself to microwave the noodles on Saturday night, cried as i ate it slowly

23 comments:

Sue Lin said...

My sister was opposite me as i wrote this post. I tried not to let her see me as i teared writing the first sentence of the last paragraph...

supplementals said...

*hugs*

Sue Lin said...

Thanks Supp

Isya said...

oh sue lin, so sorry for your loss. it's as if everyone around me is losing someone dear to them. at least you managed to come back in time to see him one last time.

my sister wrote an sms to me just today cause i was sad and missing my aunty again cause i dreamt about her last night. it goes something like "trust in God that He knows what's best. he won't let someone die if it was not meant to be. so, let them go in peace and all we can do now is pray for them".

take care of yourself and call me if you need someone to talk to ok. *hugs*

Joey said...

My condolences.
Take care, Sue Lin

Sue Lin said...

Isya, don't worry about me, of course its sad but he's 95 by English calender, a few months before his 96th birthday. For Chinese, we add 3 years to the age of death, so his Chinese age is 99, which is rounded up to 100 by the funeral palour.

This means that he had a full life, we were told to 'celebrate life', throughout the ceremony we are to wear colours, none of those black and white and blue mourning colours. I wore red today. In a way ur right, its just time.


Thanks Joey

Anonymous said...

Hi dear, condolences to you and your family. At least you came back in time to meet him.

Stay strong ok. I'm sure he doesn't want to see you guys cry. :)

*hugs*

Racheal

Sue Lin said...

Thanks Racheal. Just grieved and move on la. Burial is tomorrow

Sue Lin said...

Found out today that it is superstition that if a person was to pay respects at a Chinese funeral (typically lasts 3 to 5 days), the visitor should attend in odd numbers. Example, visit once, 3 times or 5 times. Don't make it 2 or 4 times.

A friend of mine visited once on Monday and before she left, she told me she might come again on Tuesday.

Tuesday morning she send me an sms telling me that her car broke down during traffic in the morning and that she might not be able to make it in the evening cuz she didnt have a car. I was like ok, told her its alright and deleted the sms.

When i told my uncle about this he said its a sign! Its telling her not to come! Cool eh? A story to tell when i meet her next

Sue Lin said...

When Kong Kong was alive he used to be paranoid about safety. Always wants the doors to be locked. With the doors of the house, i'd agree, safety is important. But with the gate... honestly i dont see the point of putting a padlock on the gate.

I can still vividly recall the way he asks me if i've locked the gate. Sometimes i do, sometimes i just lie and say yes. Sorry but thats the truth.

Lately, over the past few nights, 4nights of the funeral service, i made sure the gate was locked. Even tonight, i locked the gate. Because he would have wanted it. Sigh... i dont know why i do it. I still find it pointless...

Sue Lin said...

Since i got back, my first Sunday dinner here is without Kong Kong. Its normally the Sundays that my family eats with him. Over the past few years i make it a point to be home for dinner on Sundays. Am glad i did

After the burial today, we had dinner on the round table. It felt weird that Kong Kong wasnt there, even though he never used to say much.

Tonight i came online, I realised that i borrowed the internet cable from the old desktop on Tuesday, the desktop that my grandfather used to Skype with the aunts and uncles. The cable will no longer be needed for that computer.

Instead of a Skype session on my first day back, it was a funeral

Serene said...

Dear Sue Lin, I hope you feel better soon. =( a death in the family is always hard. take care ya.

Sue Lin said...

Thanks Serene, it'll just take some time. Aunt and uncles are still here till i travel so the house doesnt feel too empty

Patrick ho said...

I can even recall how my kong kong look like when he pass away.I m maybe 6years old something.I still remember how my kong kong protect me from my parents "ratan"whenever i did something wrong,sweetest things always in my memory now.Sorry for ur lost Sue lin.

Sue Lin said...

Wowww, Patrick that was a long time ago! Very good memory

Today my auntie and uncles were looking at the funeral pictures. They saw the picture of the bowl and i told them the story. They said that i'm very lucky: He blessed me with long life

I ate it with a pair of red chopsticks. Normally i'd use fork and spoon but that night i chose to be traditional

Patrick ho said...

Now i m only 19plus,i think i can be ur little bro age.But i dont have grandparents anymore.Kinda sad huh,i wonder if i still got grandparent watching me till i married.But i dont have chance anymore.Oh yeah,u speak chinese?My english contains lot of grammatical errors.Hope u dont mind messing up your blog.

Sue Lin said...

Patrick you're younger than my bro =P

I also have no more grandparents. My father is the youngest while on my mom's side, her father was a smoker and her mom was diabetic. What about yours?

Don't worry about bad grammer, its fine =) No problem. My Chinese is REALLY REALLY REALLY bad. 10times worse than your English. I can only order kai fan and pan mee... Hahahha

Patrick ho said...

Haha..sure or not?you look very typical chinese girl.Anyway,my Ah kong died because of hepatitis B.Something like that,not so sure.While ah ma,she is a heavy smoker,she smoked while she was gambling.(That's y i hate smoker,especially the field i m involve now.I smoke exhaust gas from car but not from cigarette).And pass away because of lung cancer.

She's Jess said...

Sue Lin!! Why didn't you tell me eh?

Anyway, so sorry abt your loss!

Sue Lin said...

Patrick yeah i hate when people talk to me in Chinese. I wish i have the banana face. Feel so stupid when i dont know how to answer

Jess i thought of smsing u... dont know why i didnt...

Biopolymath said...

In a way, you made it in time to let your grandpa see you. The death really came as an uninvited surprise to you, I'm sure.

My maternal grandfather was fine the day before, who knew the next day he passed away when I was on the verge of finishing an exam paper in high school. It was a heart attack, at that time I couldn't believe such illness stuck him, later to find out that he has been keeping the fact to himself for years.

My condolences.

Sue Lin said...

Biopolymath yeah, i dont know why was my timing so geng.

I'm a bit confused... what was ur grandpa keeping in? He's had heart attacks before?

And thanks

Biopolymath said...

He has never had major heart attacks, but IMO he must have experienced chest pain (minor episodes). Nothing was told, it came as a shock to me.