That Saturday

I didn't even know that my father was not well for 3days, he sent my sis to school, went to work from 9am to 9pm like normal. Unlike me, he never complained much. He slept early, i just thought he was tired.

Mom told me she was bringing him to the hospital to get checked yesterday morn. Did a brain scan and my father called me (while my mom drove) to say that he had blood clots in his head! And he was going for an operation in Pantai in Bangsar.

My father sounded normal, convinced me that it was all alright. Still. I cried a tear or two.

I badly wanted my Saturday to be normal so i went home (from the routine Sat breakfast with E). Did some stupid work and went for my 1.50pm gym class. My bro, sis and maid went to the hospital earlier

Forgot to bring my phone, took my time in the shower, went home to find an sms from Mom saying that my father's operation is at 5pm. Damn, its almost 4! I rushed to get to Bangsar, i knew i needed to see him before they took him away for the operation. I had a feeling that we wouldn't be able to see him from 4.40 or so.

I didnt make it in time, when i got there at 4.20, he was already in the operation theatre. Kinda wanted to cry.

Had to push out negative thoughts, thoughts that i couldn't help thinking, like "What if the worst happened and that i didnt get to see him BEFORE he left the operation?"

Would going to the gym be something i deeply regret? I thought back to the few past few days when my father was sick, i was so busy with work (and i came home quite freaking late) that i didn't really get to talk to him to notice he was sick, let alone hug him, something i haven't done since i cant remember when.

Hung out with bro, mom n sis in the cafeteria and my bro asked me "Why are u so late?". I mumbled, i couldn't tell him that i went to the gym, i couldn't look at him in they eye.

It was quite a long wait for the operation to be done, had to keep on telling myself that it was gonna be ok.

And thankfully it was, the operation was a success! I don't know how much regret there'll be inside of me and how long it will eat me alive if things turned out differently.

I am SO thankful