Failures, Miscarriages and Injuries

These are three things people dont really talk about. I wanted to write about a couple of my failures last month but didnt get around to it. I've never had a miscarriage but i've heard its a lot more common that it appears to be.

I've always been lucky to be healthy and well, lucky. I've never had any major injuries, never been to the hospital other than to visit a patient. Until early this month!

My extreme sports has finally gotten to me. On Thursday night, I was attempting to do the aerial silks hip lock when i felt my weaker arm the right arm crack and a sharp pain in the biceps and triceps! Thankfully, along with a million other things i have to be thankful for, i was low enough to the ground to make a safe descend.

I didnt let go, i didnt crash, i landed on my feet. I didnt even fall. The other girls who were watching said i descended slowly and in control. I was panic mode, the pain was strong and unusual.

Everyone panicked too, they stopped the music and everyone was around me, the teacher, Vanessa got her boss to come to me and he told me they have to call an ambulance.

I must have looked like a deer in headlight looking up n around at the other girls, i was shell shocked and i said i'll just wait 5-10mins. Someone got me an icepack, everything was blurry, i was trying to determine exactly where the pain is and what happened.

I didnt feel any pain in my shoulder surprisingly. All i felt was a terrible strong pull in my biceps and slight numbness in the triceps. Hazel iced me and Vanessa called Steve to come pick me up. For a moment i just starred cluelessly as she she determined i cant drive.

They insisted i should see a dr and i had to agree. While waiting for Steve the whole class accompanied me and kept me positive, i felt bad disrupting the class!

Over 40minutes later, the pain was still consistent. I started to feel anxious. Steve arrived and the girls helped me pack up and we quickly left. Went straight to the hospital.

The journey was hell. Everytime Steve accelerated at green traffic lights, i felt the impact magnified in my arm. I had to direct him to the hospital.

Got myself registered and another level of hell began. The waiting. It felt forever and at the same time time flew. It was agonising. It drove me insane.

My arm was numb and the consistent pain was there for hours. I jumped to conclusions, i worried over losing my dominant arm, my writing arm, the thought of not writing and the thought of never doing pole or silks again could be liken to being stabbed. I had to know what was wrong! I needed a doctor. I missed Malaysia where my parents would bring me to private hospital in a blink of the eye, I missed my parents!

After 3.5 hours since the injury, at midnight, a doctor called "Sue", i jumped up happily like a school kid wanting to answer a question to get a prize. That action shot a wave of pain through my arm but i was so shit happy. I thanked him for calling me.

He was nice and with just one look at my bare shoulder he told me i dislocated it! I needed a n X-Ray. Got it done, the lady was nice and said that i was doing well, though i felt like an absolutely difficult patient. Then i had to wait for a bed.

In the mean time. Dr told me i'll need 6 weeks rest. He told me he wanted me to move my arm as little as possible. He doesnt want me to drive or comb my hair or brush my teeth with my injured arm. I was like OMG!!! Couldnt believe it.

A bed became available. Honestly it took more time getting me seated and taking off my long sleeved top than it did to pop my arm back in place.

All i remembered was starring at the ground as he held my injured arm a certain way with one hand and placed the other arm on my back. He asked the nurse to get another dr and tried a different movement. I braced myself. Before I could ask him if it was going to hurt, i felt a pop and my arm instantly felt better!!!! I said i felt it. He said he felt my arm pop too!!! Like a cheap romance novel! LOL.

When the nurse came back with another dr, it was already all done. The two drs spoke about me in jargons i have no clue what is, as doctors do. Was monitored in the hospital bed for a bit, and then they told me I could wait in the waiting area... which I sat at for not very long and then I could go home!

I glanced at the clock at it was 12.45pm. The end of my ordeal and the beginning of recovery.